“Remain”
In this season, it is both heartbreaking to watch my parents age and unbearably sweet to spend time with them. Something about being able to name what I’m experiencing in the spareness of poetic language brings my overwhelm down a few notches. Imagining what it might be like to experience memory loss helps me stay in a place of compassion. It doesn't change the circumstances, but it helps me find a steady place to stand, however small. For this I am grateful.
“Remain”
Hold me
in all I can no longer remember
as my mind slowly walks away from me
It’s not so bad
maybe a little frustrating
because I want to remember
and memories long past visit
like they happened yesterday
Time does funny things now
it’s wrinklier
more fluid
folding and stretching in odd ways
the immediate evaporates
and does not remain
I hold on to what I can
love me with kindness
thank you for being patient
once more
smile with me
when I tell the same story
enjoy it with me again - why not?
be gentle
do not give up on me
though I may forget you now
know that I remember a younger you
I remember the good of us then
sweet memories buried deep
still in me somewhere
even as I wander through time
you remain here in my heart
always will I know you
even if I cannot remember that I do.
©2024 Wendy Lew Toda
Image: Adrian Eperjessy, for Unsplash