“Remain”

In this season, it is both heartbreaking to watch my parents age and unbearably sweet to spend time with them. Something about being able to name what I’m experiencing in the spareness of poetic language brings my overwhelm down a few notches. Imagining what it might be like to experience memory loss helps me stay in a place of compassion. It doesn't change the circumstances, but it helps me find a steady place to stand, however small. For this I am grateful.

“Remain”

Hold me

in all I can no longer remember

as my mind slowly walks away from me

It’s not so bad

maybe a little frustrating

because I want to remember

and memories long past visit

like they happened yesterday

Time does funny things now

it’s wrinklier

more fluid

folding and stretching in odd ways

the immediate evaporates

and does not remain

I hold on to what I can

love me with kindness

thank you for being patient

once more

smile with me

when I tell the same story

enjoy it with me again - why not?

be gentle

do not give up on me

though I may forget you now

know that I remember a younger you

I remember the good of us then

sweet memories buried deep

still in me somewhere

even as I wander through time

you remain here in my heart

always will I know you

even if I cannot remember that I do.


©2024 Wendy Lew Toda

Image: Adrian Eperjessy, for Unsplash

Wendy Lew Toda

I create at the intersection of grief and joy.

Art • Poetry • Coaching • Facilitation

https://www.wendylewtoda.com
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“Enough”

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Wisdom From the Caregiver Trenches