Welcome
A Tabiji Eggshell, holding beauty in its brokenness.
Hi. I believe you. Let's start there so you can exhale and rest assured I'm not going to question your story. I believe that it's as bad as you say it is. I also believe you are a sane, smart and capable person.
• Let's start with a working definition:
Emotional abuse is a pattern of verbal and non-verbal behavior over time that insults, isolates, degrades, threatens and/or attempts to exert control over another person. It comes in all levels of volume, overtly loud to covertly quiet.
• How these patterns of emotional abuse impact us:
Maybe your memory or perception of reality is being questioned. Maybe you feel confused or self-doubting, even wondering about your own sanity. Maybe you think twice before asking a question and choose silence instead because it's safer. Or maybe silence is used against you. Or you don't dare express anger. Maybe you feel like you can't tell anyone what's going on because oh my goodness, everyone thinks he is such a nice guy, who is going to believe you?
• Where emotional abuse can happen:
Emotional abuse can happen at home, at work, in churches, in basketball leagues - anywhere, really. Yes, "emotional abuse" is a weighty word set - because that weight is a destructive one when one human being (intentionally or not) repeatedly aims it at another human being. This is exactly why you might feel so squashed in an ongoing way. Emotional abuse can be tricky to spot, but its impact is devastating and unmistakable. It can take us apart and fling us to the farthest corners of the earth. Over and over and over. In time, it can become too hard to make the trek back to ourselves again.
That’s the backdrop. The focus here is you. Because you matter. Your wholeness and healing matters. All is not lost, even if it might feel that way in the moment. Getting un-squashed is possible. You will find your way back to yourself. I’m glad you’re here.
Be wise. Stay safe.
Image: a Tabiji Eggshell, because beauty can be held in our brokenness, and there is something sacred in our jagged edges.
Just in case: 24/7 U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline, voice: 800-799-7233, text: “START” to 88788