Steady Behind My Turned Back
Image: Eutah Mizushima for Unsplash
Steady Behind My Turned Back
Why?
repeats in me
round and round
even in sleep
answers go missing
where are you?
there is no justice
only my fist raised
at you
tears hot on my face
no no no
not him
so young
bright smile gone
suddenly
I face absence
his echo loud
in the hollowness of my heart
walking halls once his
I cannot sing
cannot see you
yet you invite
make a place for me
I don’t know how to be with you
any more
or if I even want to
after this
why do you stay with me
in tangled feelings
in every question
every rant
even if I ignore you
you remain
steady behind my turned back
loving me still
quietly near
here
in this grief
my sorrow sees
your tears run with mine
asking nothing
simply
being with me
in my darkness
in ever present love.
….
A poem written for friends after they spoke of the ongoing impact of deaths close to them. Their hearts and spiritual lives have been so changed.
…